Family

Just Another Day?

/ Carrie L. Carr / 2 Comments

Valentine’s Day. Two words that can bring either joy, fear or angst to a person.

I’m one of the lucky ones – I’ve been happily partnered for almost twelve years, to a woman whose smile can still make my heart race. Thankfully, we don’t really subscribe to the whole “Valentine’s Day” hoopla. Neither one of us really need a special day for love. We show each other our love every single day – whether it’s in bringing morning coffee, or just looking into each other’s eyes for long moments at a time.

We figured out a long time ago the secrets to a happy marriage. Loving – Listening – Laughing.

Sounds simple, right?

It really is.

We both had troubles and issues before we got together. I think almost everyone does. But the months we spent talking on the phone and online before we ever met face-to-face, built a strong foundation that is solid to this day. Now I can’t remember a time when we weren’t together.

The hardest part, at least for me at the beginning, was to set aside egos. Instead of thinking, “I’ve done this for you, now what are you going to do for me?”, it quickly became, “I want to do this for you to see the happiness on your face.” Believe me, everything you put into the relationship, you’ll get out of it – double. At least that’s what’s happened for me.

Do we have our problems? Of course. Mostly because I’m a very pig-headed, stubborn person. But my wife never calls me on it – at least not in a way that I’ve noticed. She’ll listen to my rants and have me calmed down pretty quickly. Goodness knows I could never live with me and be sane – I don’t know how she does it. LOL!

She makes me laugh. We can spend time together, playing silly word games and laughing so hard that we both have tears running down our faces. Or we’ll be watching a favorite television show, seeing ourselves in the situations and giggling like little children. It’s never dull, and it’s often more fun than the program itself.

We have “date nights” regularly, whether it’s in a nice restaurant or a new “dive” we want to try, or a box of pizza on the bed while we snuggle up together and watch a movie.

She’ll see something, either a card or a silly gift, and bring it home to me. I’ll take a rose from the front garden and leave it in a vase for her as a surprise – no need for a special occasion.

For us, every day together is Valentine’s Day – no need for a “special” day once a year to remind me that I love her.

Empty Nest? What Empty Nest?

/ Carrie L. Carr / Leave a comment

My wife and I did our best to raise our daughter to be smart and responsible, so when she decided to move out a few months ago, we were pretty sure she’d be fine.

Only a couple of weeks went by and we were almost ashamed to enjoy the “empty nest”. But, being the troopers we are, we did our best.

At the same time, my mother, who turned seventy about two months ago, told me she was having trouble taking care of the home she rented. I can understand that, because it was a three bedroom, two bath house – much too big for a single woman to keep up with. I spoke to my wife, and we came up with a solution – move my mother into our daughter’s old room.

Before you think we’ve totally lost our minds, hear me out – Mom would always spend her weekends with us, even though we were less than 10 miles away. But she was lonely, and we loved the company. Our weekends tended to be filled with cooking, shopping and laughing – mostly laughing. So it really wasn’t much of a stretch to bring mom here.

So now, it’s several months later, and there’s been no blood spilled, and no threats to anyone’s life. Believe it or not, we enjoy having our new “roomie” with us – we watch a lot of the same television shows and movies, And, it didn’t take much work to add Mom’s desk to our office space.

Our weekends are much more relaxed – we’ll usually cook breakfast together, visit at the table, then retire to the office to play video games.

In other words, not much has changed. We just put a lot less miles on our vehicles, and get to spend Saturdays in our jammies 🙂

As for our daughter, she seems happy and well-adjusted. Other than the panicked calls asking where gnats come from (not her salad, that’s for sure), and the occasional “I have a cold, what should I take,” question, she’s doing great. And when she comes to visit, we actually spend more quality time with her than we did when she lived here. Everyone wins.

Of course, I haven’t even gone into the “pack” situation – with Mom’s chiweenie, we now have four dogs under twenty pounds. I’ll leave their adventures for another day.